Working for an "Asshole" - Take Control

A good friend of mine is suffering the attacks from her boss that, to quote her, is a “one scary dudette”. The complaint I hear about this and other executives is that they demand excellence and leadership from everyone but themselves. My friend is pondering two questions: 

1. Is this just the way it is in Corporate America?
2. I’m going to make a change.  Until then, what can I do to cope with this situation?

Coincidentally, I had just picked up a copy of a book entitled, “The No Asshole Rule…Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t” by Robert I Sutton, PhD.   The title of the book immediately drew me in because it seemed like it had to be written by someone with enough courage and life experience to call it like it is.  As I listened to my friend I thought that surely this book would have some magical formula for surviving this bully-like behavior. 

The book itself was quite entertaining, but also disturbing at the same time.  Dr. Sutton discusses studies that have measured that 27 - 36% of people feel they are working for an “asshole”.  He does distinguish between a “temporary asshole” (which we all are at times) and a “certified asshole”.  The latter is one that engages is persistent behavior that results in another person (most often a person with less power) leaving the interaction feeling oppressed, humiliated or belittled by the person.  Some of the everyday methods that these bullies use to belittle others are persistent insults, rude interruptions, invading personal territory, two faced attacks, sarcastic comments and/or treating you as if you’re invisible.  As a mother of a preschooler, these behaviors sound very close to the description of schoolyard bully - sans the black eye.

This behavior is not limited to Corporate America.  It exists across for-profit, non-profit and all sizes of companies and organizations.  Dr. Sutton suggests that we choose our opportunities carefully because life is just too short to spend it with “assholes”.  However, if you find yourself working for a “certifiable asshole”, there are two things you can do.

1. Reframe the nastiness in a way that enables you to emotionally detach yourself from the assholes.  One of my favorite quotes from Dr. Sutton’s book is the following:

Passion is an overrated virtue in organizational life and indifference is an underrated virtue.

He points out that sometimes a bit of detachment goes a long way in making life bearable.

2. Don’t struggle against the forces you cannot control and instead, focus on the good people in the company.  Pick the battles you can win and do what you can to make your workplace enjoyable.  This will help to sustain your self confidence.

Obviously, the cost to an organization of “asshole” behavior is huge.  It drives employee turnover, absenteeism, personal performance, time required for “asshole management” and adds to the difficulty of recruiting new employees.  Think of the organizations that have major assholes at the helm, the reputations these companies have and how you feel when approached to work for them. 

Dr. Sutton points out that when an asshole leads the company, the culture often becomes one driven by fear, loathing and retaliation where leaders are constantly trying to avoid blame rather than fix problems.  Sound familiar?  I think we’ve all had careers touched at least one time by such an environment.  If not, count your blessings!  The scariest thing is that he suggests that “prolonged bullying turns victims into assholes”. (Is this where all those people that were bullied relentlessly in school went to work?).

For those of us wanting to create a different environment, Sutton recommends adopting a “No Asshole Rule” to be applied to candidates, customers and clients.  Concurrently, we all need to learn, exhibit and teach our teams how to “fight” in constructive ways.

-- Sue Schaefer, Partner, JivaroCXO

Comments

[Janice]

Sue Schaefer has touched upon an issue that's being talked about across the country - bullying behavior in the workplace. It's refreshing to see that Sue, a highly respected recruiter, is fully aware of this phenomenon and is willing to voice her opinion on the subject. Perhaps someday there will be a mechanism to identify individuals with this tendency early-on in the selection process. Until then, it's good to know that recruiters, like Sue, have this attribute "on their radar" as they prepare slates of candidates for leadership positions.